Do you consider yourself picky when it comes to your clothes, friends? How you spend your time? We must use our time wisely. Dressing well is also important. The way you dress and your clothes say a lot about you. Similarly, choose your friends wisely too.
My husband labeled us as such a couple of years ago when he noticed many of the people we considered friends were turning their back on us, and we didn’t seem able to make new ones. The sales assistants tell me I’m too picky about their eyes and attitude whenever I go shopping for clothes.
I tend to disagree: we’re not picky enough! 😀
- Don’t want friends who don’t like having my children around or with whom I have to pretend to be someone else.
- Don’t need clothes I don’t like and don’t feel comfortable wearing, just because some sales assistant is not in the mood to show me something else, or the store-owner assures me they look good on me.
We only have one life, and limited resources. If we’re not careful how we live it, we may wake up one day overwhelmed by regrets, realizing we wasted precious time and energy on things and people who were not worth it. I prefer to be picky, and only invest my money, feelings, and time into things, and people I feel are worth it.
Believe it or not, it pays to be picky, and I’m not the only one saying it. Researchers have reached this conclusion after performing several studies. We’ll review their findings and the pros and cons of being picky below. Have a look at why you must choose your clothes and friends and use your time wisely.
Why Be Picky With Your Clothes?
The clothes you wear influence:
- The way you feel and see yourself
- The way others see you
- Your performances.
You must know the feeling of putting on a new outfit and feeling that you have the world at your feet. Your troubles disappear, and nothing can prevent you from obtaining what you want. I’m sure you’ve also experienced the reverse: that one day when you were supposed to look at your best, but you spilled coffee on your shirt, or the love of your life decides to come knocking on your door, and you’re wearing sweats.
The clothes you wear can make you feel the center of the universe, or bring your confidence entirely down. Unfortunately, they also influence the way others perceive you. Before you choose your friends, pick what you wear wisely.
Did you know that:
- Red clothes make men look angrier, more aggressive, and more dominant than blue or grey garments? They do, and several and a 2015 study confirmed it. Subjects saw photos of the same men, wearing the same outfits, but of different colors, and they reported perceiving anger, aggression, and dominance in men wearing red.
- A 2017 study argues that clothes mediate the recognition of our bodies in a social context? Provocative clothing objectifies and dehumanizes women, exposing them to sexual violence. They turn women into sexual objects whose only purpose seems to be responding to male desires. When rejected, some men feel entitled to resort to violence, since they’ve received mixed signals.
- There are also studies proving that we should “Dress for Success” every day? One of them, led by Jeffrey L. Magee, discovered that relaxation when it comes to one’s clothing brings about relaxation when it comes to manners, morals, and productivity.
- A 2015 study militates in favor of dressing for success by showing that formal clothing leads to greater category inclusiveness and enhances the global processing advantage? It found that the clothes we wear influence cognition broadly and impact the processing style that changes objects, people, and events.
What does this tell you? Buy and wear clothes that make you feel and look your best, without worrying that you’re too dressed up, and without losing your personal touch. If you dress like an executive, you’ll be more likely to feel and act like one. Don’t forget to match colors and occasions, and give your outfits a personal touch!
Now that you have enough reasons to be pickier than ever with your clothes, we can move on to your friends.
Why Be Picky With Your Friends?
Do you choose your friends wisely? How many friends do you have? No, I’m not referring to social media connections, but to real-life people who would get out of their comfort zone to help you and stand by you in need. They appreciate your presence in all circumstances, they have no problem keeping a secret, and they don’t criticize you to everyone who will listen.
Let’s say your counting reveals some ten friends. What if I told you that, out of those ten friends, only five think of you as their friend? I know it’s painful, but a 2016 study confirmed it.
Although 95% of the study participants believed their friendships were reciprocal, only 50% of their friends felt the same way.
If you want to know who your real friends are, leave your feelings aside for a minute, and observe what is going on around you. Who calls when you get sick, offers to help without you asking, and raises your spirits when you feel down? Who seeks your presence with no particular interests in mind?
Those are the people you should focus on. If you do, chances are you will feel and function better, enjoy better health, and be more content and optimistic.
A study released in April this year found that adults with friends perform better, while those without friends tend to develop chronic illnesses.
Friend support, along with family support improves subjective well-being. My honest advice is that you stop wasting your time on social media and focus on your real-life friendships instead. Your time is limited, so it is essential to make the most of every second. You must choose your friends wisely.
Why Be Picky With Your Time?
This time, I’m not going to cite studies. I will tell you why you must use your time wisely. I want you to look at your days and assess how much of them you will remember in a couple of years. Admittedly not much of the time you spend working, checking your emails and social media accounts, or trying to come up with new ideas for just about anything.
I used to postpone dates with my husband, trips with my girls, and friends get-togethers to finish a work project. We needed the money; I risked losing a client, I had a deadline, etc. Sometimes, I would struggle for hours to write a piece I could have finished in minutes. I did make a lot of money that year. It all went on medical bills and frivolous things.
One day, my 5-year old daughter asked me: When are we going to do something fun?
You always have to work, and dad is either away or distracted! I don’t want toys; I want you to hold me and play with me! My first instinct was to send her to play in her room, as usual. In my mind, I was working for her, and I expected her to understand.
Then, I remembered that my best childhood memories had nothing to do with toys or the money my parents brought home (and we were extremely poor). They were about cooking, or sewing doll dresses with my mom besides, weaving, and knitting with granny, fishing and carving pumpkins with dad.
They were about being with the people I loved. Suffice to say, I never again refused to play with my daughter or spend time with my husband, even though it often meant working when they were sleeping, late at night, or until early morning.
I know you want to be successful, and your heart grows when you see hundreds or thousands of followers on social media. I know you want to be everywhere and do everything, but you can’t. Therefore, use time wisely.
It’s time to take a step back, look at the big picture, and decide: Where do you want to be most? Whom do you want next to you? How do you want to spend your time?
Don’t waste any second, as, one day, you’ll wish to take that second back and it won’t be possible. You’ll want another chance from the people you love, but they’ll already have someone else in their life. You’ll want to enjoy life to its fullest, but you’ll be alone, tired, and unable to.
Set your priorities straight and be picky! Use your time wisely! You don’t get another chance, so make sure you’ll never regret your time investments!
Do you use time wisely? Do you choose your friends wisely? What are your thoughts on dressing well is important?
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