With the rise in living costs and the less time to spend for the spouse, cohabitating is on the trend. Cohabitation is when couples move in to live together before marriage. They share bills, responsibilities, and beds without legal marriage certification. Compared to the past decades, live-in relationships are getting more common now. But does this help couples any better?
Research shows that couples who moved in together before tieing the knot had around 33% more chances of divorce than those who moved in after marriage.
So what does living together has to do with separation. This analogy has been long researched to find out the connection between the two.
Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?
Surprisingly it turns out that it is not living together that makes the couple split after a while. It is the age when you commit that matters. People who commit after the age of 23 seem to have only 30% chances for separation, while those who engage in their late teens or early twenties have 60% chances for divorce.
Sadly, divorce impacts the two people as a couple and the children who suffer the adverse effects of it.
So, the later you commit to a serious relationship, the lesser the chances for separation.
Live-in relationship or cohabitation is still considered a taboo in many cultures and religions across the world. Nowadays, many couples always opt for the trial run on their marriage regardless of what others might think.
Such a situation does not necessarily mean that the couple will eventually get married; it is merely the two individuals’ choice, whether to head down that road to marriage or live together.
The heartache of a broken relationship is terrible. Whether it is a divorce or separation from your live-in partner, it hurts. Testing the water before the dip may be ideal for the bath, but consider taking the same approach for the marriage depends on the two people involved. Here is a list of some pros and cons of being in a live-in relationship.
Advantages of Being In Live-in relationship Before Marriage
1. You get to learn more about each other
The main reason couples like to live in before taking the plunge into marriage is getting acquainted with each other. It is good to know their habits, quirks, and their expectations. It helps to adjust and love them when you get married. There is no surprise.
2. It’s a 50-50 partnership
A marriage is successful when you share the responsibilities. When you are trying the mock wedding, you need to learn to follow the collaboration here too. We must split responsibilities, be it a financial decision or household chores. In a live-in relationship, you do not take the partners for granted.
Moreover, when you share the household bills, you can save enough for the future. If you learn to share all the responsibilities before getting hitched, you would not have a problem later. And would help build a healthy relationship.
3. It’s a mirror to the future
You don’t know a person genuinely unless you are married to them. A cohabitation situation can help you decide if both of you are ready for a lifelong commitment. This way, you would get good indications of how it would be like to be married.
Would there be the same kind of love? Or would you fight more often? When this kind of relation fails, it might sting for a while, but it is easier to walk away from this than a failed marriage.
Lack of sex in your relationship? Check out how to fix a sexless relationship or marriage!
4. Put your love and passion to test
Loving a person is different than loving them when you both start living together under the same roof.
The habit you might find cute in the beginning might be annoying later on when you start living together.
When you co-exist, the mystery gradually fades away. So the love and passion for one another will be tested in a live-in relationship. It is good to know if you, as a couple, is really meant for marriage.
5. You can’t just walk away
When you get into a fight, you can’t just walk away. When you love together, you share the same bed and the same house. With the shared responsibilities, you can’t just gather your things and walk away. You have to resolve the issue before going to bed. Learn to communicate, talk it out, and by the time you are married, you would have made your relationship stronger.
There are always two sides to the coins. The coin is the same, though, but the opinion and perspective might be different. Let’s look at why you should not move in together.
Downsides of being in a live-in relationship:
1. Might Leave No Excitement In The Relationship
There is a charm of being newly married. You lose that charm if you have been living together. The ceremony seems like a formality. The element of surprise is no longer there. Some couples skip it and feel since they are already in the comfort zone, why bother to get married?
2. Less Personal Space
Once you are married, you would never get your room. That space that you call your own. Why take the solitude away before you get hitched. You have lived in this room that you decorated according to your choice for quite some time. It is your world! Once you are married, you would either shift to another’s room or welcome someone to yours. Your personal space would no longer be yours alone.
3. It Gives You A Way Out
Once you are married, no matter how difficult the situation may be, you would try to make a difference. Iron out the cresses. Every new relationship has its teething problems. But when you move in together before getting married, even to test out your compatibility, you would always have an escape route at the back of your mind.
4. You would lose your independence
Once you are married, you can apparently grow independently. But you would have to share a lot of things apart from the living space. Finances, interests, religious outlook, etc., would be shared. A live-in relationship sometimes puts a strain on your individual growth. You may be in love, but you might not be ready to share your full space and finances (at least not yet).
5. Do not rush into anything. Leave some planning for post-wedding life
Once you have crossed the infatuation level, you know you are in love. You want to begin your life with your partner. But things can be taken at a slow pace, no need to rush it. One must enjoy every phase of being in love. It is a beautiful feeling. Embrace it. Once you are married, you would have a lot of things to plan. Enjoy the wedding, and you would have a long time to get to know the person and shape your life.
There is no guarantee that you would get married once you have lived together, and there is no surety what the future of your married life holds. How a couple would like to lead their life should be a decision that they take. What religion dictates and what society thinks should not matter! It is your personal choice to live in or dive in. It should make you happy as an individual and as a couple.
What are your thoughts about being in a live-in relationship before marriage? Do not hesitate to share with us. Also, stay tuned to our newsletter by subscribing to us for more articles like this. You can also follow us on our social media channels for more updates.
Also, if you’re looking for your perfect partner, here’s how to find your ideal life partner. Check it out!