Some people are born with the ability to overcome all of life’s challenges, whereas some of us complain about life being unfair. Truth is, when confronted with life’s adversities, some blame fate, while others emerge stronger. Al Siebert, an American psychologist, is determined to discover what makes only a few of us masters of survival. He interviewed hundreds of survivors of wars, natural disasters, captivity, abuse, serious illness, or the loss of loved ones. They did not succumb to despair or indignation but instead thrived as a result of it all. The real question is, can we all plausibly develop our inner strength and determination, which helps us cope with unfair things in the world around us and eventually evolve to the best version of ourselves?
Some people, like musicians or painters, have a natural talent for recovering from crises and difficulties. They quickly regain emotional equilibrium and adapt to new situations. According to Siebert, adversity gives them strength and often turns trouble into a gift.
Despite their talent, survival artists are no different from the rest of us. On the contrary, they frequently emphasize that they are not heroes at all, but rather that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time and did the best they could. Although Siebert believes that some people are born with greater resistance to adversity, he also believes that with a growth mindset these qualities can be developed in anyone.
People rarely use their deepest strengths and abilities unless they are forced to do so by extreme circumstances. Life is not fair and it’s never going to be, period. But the irony is, unfair situations can benefit us in the long run because challenges make you stronger, according to Siebert. He also highlighted a number of qualities that can help awaken our inner potentials and cope better with whatever life throws at us.
Life Is Unfair, Now What Can We Do About It?
When it appears that life isn’t fair and you need a little ‘push’ in life, remember these tips and they can always be your guiding star.
1. Don’t Take Life So Seriously
If life would be fair, it would be boring to live life. Uncertainties are what keep life interesting and fun. If everything was fair, success wouldn’t taste as good as now. Don’t take things personally. Nobody is perfect, not even life. So, give your best, don’t give up, raise your chin, and keep moving towards your goal. Life will come your way.
2. Be Curious Like A Child
Those who have managed to retain a child’s playfulness and curiosity even as adults are particularly resilient to life’s adversities. Learn from them by taking an interest in the world around you, experimenting, enjoying life, and having fun like a child. Don’t be afraid to make errors or fail!
3. Listen To Your Intuition
Things you don’t notice consciously can be noticed subconsciously. So don’t dismiss nebulous feelings that you’re not sure where they’re coming from. Listen to your intuition, for example, when something tells you not to trust someone or that you should act differently than usual, consider it.
Trust your gut isn’t just a metaphor. There’s a whole bunch of scientific findings behind it. Studies have proven that our gut can function on its own and make decisions just like our brains- scientists call it the second brain.
Hence, listening to your intuition can sometimes be as important as following a logical decision. People with more self-awareness tend to learn their gut feeling and make decisions accordingly.
4. See Things From A New Perspective
Try to see things through the eyes of others, including your competitors. Just like stars can’t shine without darkness, your life can’t shine without struggles.
- What’s the best thing that came out of the hard things in life?
- Have you become a better person due to challenges in your life?
- Did life teach you the best lessons making you ready for the future?
- Do others envy or feel jealous about you?
- Is your life a dream for millions out there?
What it’s like to be in their shoes, and how they perceive you. Consider which of these questions or points of view has a basis in reality. Finding a fresh perspective can help you from getting stuck in life and keep moving forward.
5. Be Grateful & Pay Attention To The Positive Aspects Of Your Life
Being grateful means being thankful for all the things you have in life despite the struggles. Studies suggest that showing gratitude to the smaller things in life can make us feel happier as our brains release the feel-good hormones named dopamine and serotonin.
Daily gratitude journaling has been reported to increase optimism from 5% to 15%, showing gratitude opens up more reasons for being grateful in life.
6. Allow Yourself To Never Give Up!
Everyone goes through difficult times in their lives; it is unavoidable. Imagine how life would be if there were no challenges in it at times like these. We would never mature and learn if we did not face difficulties and problems. Then we wouldn’t live, but would simply exist in a state of boredom. Obstacles keep us alive, push us to change, and break down barriers; without them, we would fall into the “trap” of ease and complacency.
Life may appear unfair to you right now, but that does not guarantee that it will remain so in the future. No matter what, keep your gaze fixed on the sun, and the shadows will eventually fade behind you.
7. Always Keep In Mind That You Have A Choice
You have complete control over your own life at all times. There is no outside force that determines what job you will do, where you will live, or how you will act. Everything is in your hands, so instead of being afraid of or rejecting that responsibility, embrace it.
Remember that feeling broken means you need to make better decisions for yourself, so permit yourself to be that way. You deserve to be happy, but sometimes it just takes a little time to find it.
8. Nothing Lasts Forever, This Too Shall Pass
People who enjoy summer the most are the ones who face harsh winters. To be able to feel happiness, we must first understand the feelings of sadness and pain. For example, to enjoy summer, you need strong winters.
Learn to deal with those negative and often unpleasant feelings by simply allowing them to pass through you. They will live in you for as long as you resist them.
Accept the pain and thank life for teaching you important lessons. Pain can be a valuable teacher if we accept it rather than condemning it and constantly wishing for it to leave us alone. Just like seasons, situations also change. Someday you’ll get your best life course.
9. Be Willing To Change Your Heart And Mind
We frequently complicate our lives because we are afraid of change. Changes, on the other hand, are necessary because they make us more cautious, help us grow, and, as a result, we are constantly evolving and learning important life lessons.
Change is rarely easy or pleasant, but that is precisely why it is important and valuable, isn’t it? The best things in life happen when we arrive at crossroads, when everything appears black to us, and when we can’t imagine things getting any better.
When you think you’ve reached your breaking point and can’t take it any longer, desperation actually shows you which path to take next. All that is good in life does not come easily, but it is precisely because it does not come easily that it is valuable.
10. Learn From Experiences
Things that happen to you unexpectedly can help you become better, stronger, and wiser. Life not being fair can be one of the best (most probably the hardest) ways life is teaching you.
So instead of complaining about why is life not fair enough, sitting around moaning; think about what you can learn from a situation, what early warning signs you ignored, and what you will do next if something similar occurs to you in the future. Take life lessons and become a wise person.
How To Deal With An Unfair Life?
Especially with the onset of the pandemic, our daily lives have been very different from what we are used to for nearly two years. Because the situation is not going to change overnight, we must adapt and, whenever possible, try to find some positives.
It may appear impossible at times, but keep your head up and take these wise words to make your life and the current situation less miserable than yesterday.
1. Life Is Unjust. Let It Go!
People will take advantage of you. Your company will fail. Innocent people will die, while guilty people will escape justice. Good people have bad things happen to them, and bad people get what they want. Life isn’t always fair. But there’s nothing you can do about it, so just accept it and move on. If you’re wasting time complaining that you’re not going to change the world, it’s time to get to work.
If you see an injustice, take action to correct it. We do not live in a just and equitable universe. You can either overcome that fact and strive to live an amazing life despite the injustice, or you can allow it to bring you down.
2. Learn To Earn, Save & Invest Money Early
It is not how much you earn that matters, but how much you save.
You can make millions of dollars and still be impoverished. It makes no difference how much you earn; what matters is how much you save. Always try to set aside at least 10 to 15% of your revenue for unexpected emergencies or even to start your own business. The more money you have in your account, the sooner you will be able to act when an opportunity presents itself.
3. Put Your Oxygen Mask First Before Offering It To Others
Not everybody will let you pursue your dreams. You must believe in yourself and have the courage to pursue your goals. Stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to pursue your dreams and then go out and do it. Be strong, grounded, and go after your dreams.
4. Ignore 99% Of Suggestions
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to anything in life. Even the most successful people in life figure out what works for them and what doesn’t.
Most of the time, unsuccessful people enjoy sharing their untested knowledge. It’s not that they can’t think critically. It’s about not knowing where you belong and how to get there.
If you truly want to listen to a suggestion, take it from people who have already done what you want to do.
5. Your Choices Equal Your Outcomes
If the results are poor, it is because you performed poorly. When you stop being bad, the results will improve. If you’re broke and angry, it’s because you haven’t developed an earning personality or learned to control your emotions. The outcomes are a result of your personality. Take care of the character, and the outcomes will follow.
What are your thoughts on life being unfair? If you liked this article, go ahead and share it with your friends on social media channels.